Yesterday was Tavin's fourth birthday. FOURTH!
Wasn't I just writing about his third?
It never fails, every time my boy has a birthday, I have a good cry.
I kinda' bring it upon myself though. I start going through old photos and watching old home videos, so of course I cry. Just looking at how tiny Tavin once was, even a year ago, just leaves my heart feeling so heavy. Why can't babies just stay babies a little bit longer?
I've started going through my old videos of Ben's and my life before Tavin, during pregnancy, and then up until he was one. I wanna' put together a little "video collage" of sorts for him. Something he can have when he's older and married with his own babies. Watching the videos is so surreal to me. It's so strange to look at a 20 year old version of myself talking about the little baby in my tummy (which I kept insisting was going to be a girl and be named Keelyn or Keylee). Life was SO different then. I was in University, involved in a theatre production, stressing about the bazillion projects I needed to complete, still a newly wed and totally blind to what my future had in store for me.
Here's one of the best videos I have. The first half is of me finally admitting to wanting an epidural and the second is the first moment I was able to see and hold Tavin.
Crazy how a few years can change so much in your life. -including super intense acne...ugh...that is why there are like zero pictures of me preggers with T)
I made a short video of Tavin answering a few questions. I probably asked him around 20. They were the typical questions of "what's your favorite food?" and "what's your favorite toy?" But he had me crying after these questions:
Me: Tavin, what makes you happy?
T: All my friends. (which, if you know Tavin, is basically every person he meets)
Me: What makes you sad?
T: To not have a family and when you're sad.
So of course I cry, he gets emotional and we have a sappy/sweet hugging moment that doesn't happen enough anymore.
Wasn't I just writing about his third?
It never fails, every time my boy has a birthday, I have a good cry.
I kinda' bring it upon myself though. I start going through old photos and watching old home videos, so of course I cry. Just looking at how tiny Tavin once was, even a year ago, just leaves my heart feeling so heavy. Why can't babies just stay babies a little bit longer?
I've started going through my old videos of Ben's and my life before Tavin, during pregnancy, and then up until he was one. I wanna' put together a little "video collage" of sorts for him. Something he can have when he's older and married with his own babies. Watching the videos is so surreal to me. It's so strange to look at a 20 year old version of myself talking about the little baby in my tummy (which I kept insisting was going to be a girl and be named Keelyn or Keylee). Life was SO different then. I was in University, involved in a theatre production, stressing about the bazillion projects I needed to complete, still a newly wed and totally blind to what my future had in store for me.
Here's one of the best videos I have. The first half is of me finally admitting to wanting an epidural and the second is the first moment I was able to see and hold Tavin.
Crazy how a few years can change so much in your life. -including super intense acne...ugh...that is why there are like zero pictures of me preggers with T)
I made a short video of Tavin answering a few questions. I probably asked him around 20. They were the typical questions of "what's your favorite food?" and "what's your favorite toy?" But he had me crying after these questions:
Me: Tavin, what makes you happy?
T: All my friends. (which, if you know Tavin, is basically every person he meets)
Me: What makes you sad?
T: To not have a family and when you're sad.
So of course I cry, he gets emotional and we have a sappy/sweet hugging moment that doesn't happen enough anymore.
Little T, I love you more each day. Happy Birthday.
Way to make me cry with seconds old Tavin. Happy Birthday Tavin!
ReplyDeleteJust got pretty choked-up watching the first moment you saw Tavin. Lump still in my throat... Can't wait to see you guys!
ReplyDelete